Beauty from Pain
Although adoption has been our first plan for starting a family since the beginning, I have to realize that our adoption is not everyone's first choice.
Adopting family- Many people start the adoption process due to the great grief and pain that comes from infertility. I have read countless numbers of adoption blogs where couples experienced many miscarriages and horrible tragedies of trying to start a biological family. Now, I want to word this carefully because I don't want adoption to sound like 2nd place, but for many people adoption stems from the loss of dreams and plans that a couple originally had. Thankfully, God can turn pain and hurting into something beautiful and better than we ever imagined, but many times couples are facing loss when they start to consider adoption.
Birth mother- I have talked about the love a birth mother must have to give up their child. While I am gaining a daughter or a son, I cannot help but hurt for the woman who has lost her child. In adoption cases, birth mothers can experience this loss for a variety of reasons. A lot of times with Ethiopian adoption it is because the mother understands that she does not have the means to provide for her child to thrive or because she is deathly ill due to malnutrition and disease. Regardless of why a birth mother is unable to mother their child, I feel that anyone who is adopting needs to realize that no woman would want to give up their child. Even if she didn't plan on having a child or wanted a child, I don't think any birth mom would say that this was her first option of how she saw things going with her life. I think it is very easy for an adoptive mom to take on this heroic type of attitude and feel superior, but my eyes have seen the hurt, pain, and love a birth mother has for their child. As an adoptive mom, I want to do my very best to speak with respect about the woman who birthed my child. When speaking about a child's birth mother, remember that you are not in their situation and so you need to be slow to speak and to judge.
Child- I have many friends who are adopted, so I hope I write this in a way that will come across with my true intentions for writing it. Every adoption case is so very different, and some adoptive children experience much greater loss than others. As much as I want to think that I would be my child's first choice, I have to realize that my child has experienced loss. I am not threatened by this, but think it is important for adoptive parents to be aware of this. Adoptive children have needs that biological children will not have because they have not experienced loss. Adoptive children may experience loss from family members that they may never see again or maybe they have even never met. With international adoption, as much as we want to teach our baby about Ethiopia, we know that much of their culture will be lost due to the fact that we will be raising them in America. This list can go on due to being raised in an institution, and many other factors, but my point is every adoption story has hurts and wounds.
Though we know adoption is not an easy path, we do know that there is sweet grace and mercy that can take sorrowful nights and turning them into joyous mornings. Many times when I write these blog post, I am not always sure of my purpose which probably isn't the best example of an English teacher. I know that adoption is spoken about much more than it was in the past, but I still feel there are many stereotypes and just unknown facts about it. Through this sometimes, I just want to share what is on my mind. We want Baby Woodson to see this is sort of as a pre-baby book of our journey to him/her. I also want this to be a place that brings awareness to others about situations and topics that come with adoption. I am so honored and blessed to be the mother of this beautiful child that I haven't even met yet. So yes, even though there is pain and hurting, adoption to me may just be one of the truest examples of the love God has for us. Through this adoption, I am learning more of what it truly means to be adopted into God's family, and the more I see it, the more I am in awe of such a loving savior.